Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Flying under the radar

This morning began promptly at 4:40am. I was pulled out of my slumber when the baby monitor sitting next to my bed began wailing, the little red lights blaring a strong level 5 red. Something was wrong. I waited my standard 5 minutes. Maybe the baby had just bonked his head on the crib slates. Surely he would doze back off to sleep. I mean, it was only 4:45am…normal people are still sleeping and surely he would want to be like a normal person and go back to sleep. Oh wait, I’ve forgotten. I have the child who has odd sleep patterns. After switching off the monitor in our room, I laid in bed, still able to hear the cries coming from Gabriel’s room, which is all the way across the house. I threw off the covers ready to go in, when the crying stopped. The house laid silent for about another 5 minutes. YES! Success! He went back to sleep. 5:00am rolls around and I’m still struggling going back to sleep, wondering why Gabriel woke up screaming in the first place. I decide that I’ll just go in and sneak a peek at him. Make sure he’s okay. Maybe he was cold. I’ll cover him up with his blanket and then my mind can be at peace with the situation. Then I’ll be able to go back to sleep. I pull myself out of the bed, floundering around my nightstand trying to find my glasses. After shoving them onto my face, I creep across the house, trying not to bump into anything in the dark or make a noise. I’ve noticed that as I get older, I have the occasional bone creek in my bones or joint pop. So, I move extra slowly trying to avoid making any noise that will wake my sleeping baby.

I approach his door, slowly pushing it open. There is still no noise, aside from the hum of the ceiling fan overhead. I tip toe up to his bed and am extra careful, ready to make a dash for it in case he hears me. I hold my breath and cautiously pear into his bed. There is my little angel, sleeping peacefully on his tummy, blanket tossed to the side. Being the overprotective mom that I am, I think, oh, I’ll just cover him up and then I can have my sigh of relief and go back to bed. As I bend over to pull up soft warm blanket that Grandma Von Fange made, it happens. CRACK! My elbow couldn’t handle the pressure and gave way, cutting through the silence of the room like a Ginsu knife. Not missing a beat, Gabriel’s head immediately pops up.

Now, a normal person would deal with being caught, suffering the consequences. But not me. I’m definitely not normal. As soon as his little head raised up from the mattress, I hit the deck, literally. My whole body went flat on the floor. I laid in complete silence, willing my body to not to twitch. Gabriel knew something was afoot in his room. Out of the corner of my eye, there suddenly was a little hand coming through the crib slates, waving furiously, along with random moments of quiet gibberish. I was determined not to be discovered. I held my position for a good 10 minutes. After that time had passed, I was 70% sure that Gabriel had at least gone from sitting up and sensing danger to laying back down. It was time for me to make my move. Saying a quick prayer for my body to be silent, I slowly slithered out of the room, my presence still undetected thanks to the crib bumper.

When I reached the hallway, pulled myself to my feet, breathing a sigh of relief. I felt a sense of accomplishment. I had just gotten in and out of Gabriel’s room undetected. SUCCESS! Gabriel was no longer upset and was sure to go back to sleep in a matter of a few minutes. I crawled back into my bed, pulled up the covers and just as I put my glasses on the nightstand, I heard it.


So much for stealth.


  1. Oh, man!! I remember nights and mornings like those. A creaking elbow. Who would have thought?

    I loved this post. I could really picture the whole scene. Hilarious. I hope you were able to get a nap in later.

  2. LOLing! That was a scene right out of a sitcom. I was waiting for you to say that his hand touched your head and pulled your hair. Enjoy it now. There will come a time that he'll be the one sneaking around in the middle of the night.