Lots of News!

Things have rapidly been changing for us here in Salina. We've already experienced several ups and downs, but are continuing to love our life here. This week, Michael and I decided that it would probably be best if we rented a home. Michael is still searching for the right job here and we're continuing to seek God's wisdom on what steps to take next. We're currently looking for a place that we can rent for about 6-12 months so we can get on our feet again and hopefully by a house soon. All in God's timing, right? We've been having a lot of fun hanging out with family and friends. We feel confident that God is going to continue to grow these relationships and take them to an unbelievable level.

But, we do have some great news! I have a job!! I recently took a position as an T-LPC at Sandstone Bridge Center here in Salina. I love the ladies I work with and I think my future at Sandstone will be a bright one. I already have a few clients and am hoping to acquire more in the next several months. So, if you know of anyone seeking a counselor, especially if they're seeking a Christian counselor, please feel free to give them my name!

Also, we have chosen a new church home. It feels good to finally have a church family again. Our pastor and his wife are wonderful and we are really looking forward to what God has in store for us here in Salina, by being involved in this church. New Community Church is much smaller than what we were accustomed to in Texas, but we have a strong feeling that this church is about to explode with growth. I was telling my friend Traci that it reminds me of what Milestone Church was probably like when they were just in the cafetorium. Now look at them!! And, boy, was I surprised to take Gabriel to children's church and find out that they were using Elevate curriculum!! The pastor's wife was a little taken aback to find out that one of the actors and writers of the curriculum she was using was now attending her church in Salina, KS!

We've been fortunate enough to attend a few KSU football games with the boys and what fun they've had. Gabriel now knows how to chant K-S-U Wildcats! K-S-U Wildcats! Needless to say, Daddy and Mommy are proud. And the boys look so cute decked out in their purple on game days! We've also gotten to attend a local parade and now, every time we go down Santa Fe with Gabriel, he asks if we can watch the parade. He's in for a treat when they do the Light Up Downtown parade for the holiday season!

I also had the opportunity to attend my sorority's 20th anniversary at the KSU campus. KSU Sigma Kappas from 20+ years back attended a very nice celebration weekend that the active members put together. It was great to catch up with some sisters I hadn't seen in years and others that I had lost touch with. It was funny to learn that the same drama is still occuring at the house, 10+ years after I was there!

Then, just a couple of days ago, we got to experience our first Halloween as a family in Salina. My boys were so cute!! Gabriel was Batman and Dominic was Robin. Both boys were so patient with going to visit all of our family to show off their costumes. And wow, did they rack in the candy. We had so much fun with them, Gabriel especially. It was really great to get a break from the stress of not having our own place - t0 just let go and have fun together as a family. Not to mention all the yummy candy Michael and I now get to steal from our kids!

Strangely enough, we found out that it's going to snow tonight! SNOW!!!! We've been back in Salina for 4 months and we're already going to experience snow!!! I'm so excited! We haven't really gotten to enjoy fall for too long, but regardless, I'm happy for cooler weather. Now we just need to get moved into a home and we'll be set for the winter!

And we can't forget to keep the black knight at bay. :)

4 to 6 weeks

It's officially happening. God is starting to prepare me for the arrival of a second child. The nights of full sleep, or even just waking up once to pee are officially over. It's now up to pee 3-4 times and rolling over every 45 minutes or so each night. My days of sleep and feeling rested are over, at least for a year.

And surprisingly, I'm okay with that.

33 weeks pregnant and measuring at 35. EEK!

Dominic's going to be officially joining our family in just a month or so and I'm starting to get a little nervous. People are constantly asking me, "Are you excited?" Well, yes. I'm excited to meet this new child that God has blessed us with and allowed me to be a mother of. But am I excited about losing time with my first child, losing sleep and possibly losing my mind from being busy and overwhelmed? Um, no. I'm a wee bit frightened.

But I have to say, I think I'm going into the arrival of this baby with much more mental preparation than I did with Gabriel. Here are just a few things I've learned from Baby 1 to Baby 2.

1. The first 3-4 weeks will totally suck. There is no getting around it. There will be no sleep. I will be completely exhausted. But it will eventually end and I will get into a rhythm.

2. I will absolutely take all the help I can get from family and friends. I am not super mom and God has put these people in my life for a reason. Sometimes that reason will be to take Gabriel on a play date or hold Dominic while I take a shower. I am not above asking for help.

3. The laundry and the dishes will pile up. Eventually I will get to them, but I am not going to stress out if my house is not vaccuumed and everything is not in it's proper place.

4. My husband is my biggest ally. We will work as a team to transition our family from 3 to 4.

And the biggest thing I learned from Baby 1 to Baby 2 -

5. If I start to get sad or depressed, it's okay. But I will immediately let my doctor know and take action to get out of my slump as quickly as possible. I will not isolate myself from others and will try to get out into the world as quickly as I can.

I realize that with Baby 2, new insights will be realized and if/when we have Baby 3, I'll have even more things to add to that list. Right now, Baby D is measuring about 2 weeks early, so the arrival of our newest little guy could be here in just a month. Hopefully the transition to having a new child and Gabriel's transition to having a new brother will go smoother than I could ever imagine. Here's to God stretching me.

On another note related to preparing for Dominic's arrival, we've been working hard on getting his room ready. Michael and I cleaned out our guest bedroom, strategically hiding more junk in the garage and attic. Michael's been amazing, painting Dominic's room and being his perfectionist designer self, adding little touches that will make his room unique. I've been sewing like crazy and putting together Dominic's bedding set. I decided to make his bedding this time around and am happy to say that it's turning out fantastic! So far, I have the crib skirt and one crib sheet done. I'm about halfway done with his blanket, but it's coming along great too. I've included a couple of snap shots of his room and bedding in progress. It's not finished yet, but it's really coming together nicely and should be finished in the next couple of weeks. Our little guy is going to be stylin'!

I also celebrated turning the big 3-0 with an amazing 80's themed birthday party that Michael hosted for me. It was so much fun! Seeing an 8 month pregnant girl dressed in flash dance attire is a sight to see, by the way. I didn't even think it was possible to get my bangs that high anymore. My friends were great, dressing up and really getting into the theme of the evening.


I know the next several weeks are going to fly by and before we know it, we'll be a family of four. Right now, I'm just so thankful to be surrounded by good friends and family that are willing to come on the ride with us!

The Final Countdown

Today marks my 31st week of being pregnant with our second child. I'm astonished that 31 weeks have already gone by and that in just about 8-9 more weeks, we'll meet our newest little family member.

Over Christmas, Michael and I came to the realization that subsequent children tend to get the shaft. I realize that a lot of this is accounted for by the fact that we're chasing after a two and a half year old all day, every day. But I don't want this baby to look back on the days before he was born and think, "Gee, Mom and Dad, thanks. I feel robbed." I haven't been as diligent about taking pregnancy photos to document my growing belly. My pregnancy journal is not nearly as detailed as I'd like it to be. We have yet to paint his nursery (although we're working on it this weekend), or buy him a crib or even a car seat for that matter.

But does that mean we love him any less? Absolutely not. We can not wait to meet this new little addition to our family and for Gabriel to experience what it's like to have a little brother. I'm sure after his arrival, we'll be very busy spoiling him with hugs, kisses and all the things we did to let Gabriel know we were so happy to have him in our lives. In the meantime, we need to get the ball rolling and prepare for his arrival a little more efficiently. I tried getting more efficient by taking a picture of my growing belly over Christmas!

Big baby at 29 weeks - already measuring 2 weeks early!

This pregnancy has been 180 degrees different than my pregnancy with Gabriel. First of all, I was extremely sick the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy - leading me to believe that he was going to be a she. Second, I haven't gained very much weight (praise God!). Third, I've been much more laid back (after my initial 16 weeks) about the safety and well being of this baby boy. Early on in my pregnancy I was very worried that something was going to happen to cause me to lose the pregnancy. I had several friend who were due around the same day I was that were losing their pregnancies and I was sure that I was going to be next. We experienced a miscarriage before we had Gabriel and it shook our world up for sure. But towards the 15-16th week of my ridiculous worrying and crying spells, Michael turned to me one night and said,

"Do you trust God, Kristina?"

I looked at him through my blurry eyes, tears still streaming down my face and was about to retort, "Well yes, of course I do."

But I stopped and thought about it. Did I trust Him? I knew I trusted Him with my marriage, with our finances, with our job situations, with our friends - with a whole lot of things. But did I trust Him with this pregnancy?

"No. I guess I don't. I want to. But I don't know how."

It took a lot of praying and encouraging from some solid Christian women as well as my amazing husband to teach me how to trust God with all things, including this new little life inside me. And the incredible part of my learning this was, once I put my trust in Him, my worries of another miscarriage went away. It didn't mean that I didn't understand that it was a possibility. But it meant that I could trust Him to take care of me - good or bad - and that in the end, His love for me would never fail.

Thankfully, this pregnancy has been very smooth and for the most part, very enjoyable. As the weeks go by, I get more excited about finally being able to meet my new son. It's going to be a change for sure, going from a family of three to a family of four. But it's something I wouldn't trade in for anything.

We can't wait to meet you, Dominic.

The Next Chapter

Several years ago, I decided that I wanted to be a counselor when I grew up. And for the past seven, I've been working, slowly and steadily (as I know that's what wins the race), to complete this master's level degree. About a month ago, all of that schooling, time away from my family, and hours of studying was finally put to the test. In Mid-September, I took the long journey to Dallas to take the most difficult exam in the history of the universe....okay, maybe not, but still it is tough.

After pouring over exhaustive questions for two and a half hours, the computer system requires you to take an "exit survey". The survey asks you questions about the ease of the test administration, the friendliness of the staff, blah, blah, blah. I don't even remember what I said. What I do remember is after I hit submit, the biggest knot in my stomach erupted and I thought I might hurl. This feeling, combined with being 12 weeks pregnant and still very nauseated did not sit well. I rushed up to the counter and a sweet little lady greeted me.

"Well, honey, how did it go?"

I took in a deep breath, trying to push down my breakfast, wishing she'd be a little quicker at handing over my scores.

"I'm not sure. But that was definitely the hardest exam I have ever taken in my life."

As she reached across the printer to hand me my scores, I threw up a prayer to God, knowing that whatever the outcome, He has plans for me and those plans were to be prosperous. He also told me over and over again that morning not be anxious about anything, but I was struggling with that one. The sweet woman finally locates my name in the stack of test results, hands me my scores and looks at me hopefully, waiting for my reaction. I feverishly scan the sheet, just looking for the words pass or fail. After about 30 secs, I spot it in the upper right hand corner of the paper.

PASS.

I let out a scream, and then quickly covered my mouth (as other people were still taking exams), and began jumping up and down. The sweet little lady giggled, embraced me in a hug and we jumped up and down together a couple of times. I couldn't believe it.

I was finally going to be a legitimate counselor.

That was a month ago. Now we're at the present. I still haven't actually applied for my license, as the five year time limit to complete your internship begins as soon as you receive your license. What's the hold up, you might ask? Well, back to reality. I think I mentioned that I'm pregnant, now close to 19 weeks into this journey and finally starting to feel good. I'm ready to get back to work, but Michael and I are trying to figure out what's sensible and realistic. Do I go back to work for 3-4 months, only to take maternity leave for 2 months later? What employer is going to go for that?

We've relied on God's guidance throughout our marriage, especially when big decisions were at hand. This is no exception. I'm believing that God will reveal to us His will and where He wants to take our family, having faith in His timing. What's the next step in our little, expanding family's journey? Guess we'll have to wait and see...although it sure would be nice to get a call or e-mail from Jesus with his tentative schedule for us.

Tomorrow's D-Day

Well, it's finally here. In less than 24 hours, I'll be taking the National Counselors Exam, FINALLY! I have to give mad props to Dr. Rosenthal. His book, The Encyclopedia of Counseling and his CD set really helped me prep for this test. I think I finally know what a measure of central tendency is, as well as a T-Score! I also have a grasp on Career Counseling Theories. Acing the test may be out of the question, but passing it is definitely possible now. In the next 10 hours or so, I'll be cramming in all the last minute info I can. Hopefully all those memory devices will pay off! I'm also hoping I can get through the test without throwing up...not only due to nerves, but due to my crazy amount of morning sickness.

Oh yeah.

I forgot to tell you.

I'm pregnant again. :)

Intermission

I'm taking a 15 minute break from studying and thought I'd give an update on where I'm at. The countdown to taking the big NCE (National Counselor's Exam) has begun. D-Day is set for Sept. 16th. I'm not sure if I've been blessed with wisdom or ignorance for scheduling this test the morning we leave for vacation. My logic behind this is taking it the day we leave will allow me to enjoy my vacation with my family, as opposed to trying to cram in more studying while on the road and then taking the exam the day after we get back. It's logical right? But, by my logic, that only gives me 9 days to study. EEK!!!

So far, I've been listening to Dr. Howard Rosenthal's Study Guide on CD and reading his Encyclopedia of Counseling. Although the man is a bit on the cheese-ball side, I really don't mind listening to him. He knows his stuff and at least he provides a study guide that's easy to understand and is almost enjoyable to read. Did I just say that?

Hopefully while Gabriel is meeting new friends and having fun at Mother's Day Out, I can get in some good, uninterrupted study time...that is if I can keep myself off the computer long enough to try.

It's a S-L-O-W Process

Well, it's the middle of August and guess what? I have yet to take the NCE (National Counselors Exam). Sometimes processes tend to be much more complicated and time consuming than they need to be. I found out after waiting a month and a half that the fee for taking the exam went up $40!! Who raises an exam fee by $40?!? And why does an exam really need to cost $200? On top of all the other money I've got to spend to obtain a license. Shesh.

But complaining aside, I "should" be set to take that sucker come the third week in September. I'm so excited to finally be done listening to Dr. Howard Rosenthal and be OFFICIAL. I'm still searching out an internship, which also seems to be dragging out. It's been difficult to find a site that is relatively close to home. Proximity is important because Gabriel is starting Mother's Day Out in the fall and it's only for 5 hours, 3 days a week. We're excited that he's going to have the opportunity to make some new friends and that I'm going to be able to start having big kid interactions and a regular basis. I'm trusting that God is going to lead me right where He wants me to be.

A New Venture

I've been a stay at home mom now for approximately 25 months. And I love it. It has great benefits, no dress code, and I can usually take a bathroom break whenever I feel the need. But there is one slight disadvantage.

Lack of payment.

Yes, I get paid in love, tickles, hugs, peanut butter and jelly, and an occasional nap. But as far as seeing a monetary benefit, I've got nothing. Hopefully that will change in the near future as I'm getting closer to taking my National Counselors Exam (NCE) and securing a (cross your fingers here) PAID internship. But until then, money remains tight. Knowing that I'm a Freeland, it may not surprise you that I'm careful with our money. We save, Save, SAVE - all the time. But since I've been without a job for two years, it's been harder to take advantage of various "fun" activities because what we save has been paying bills...and insurance...and school loans. Going to the movies, out to eat, getting a pedicure, or buying clothes and shoes are all luxuries that I don't get to partake in very often. And now that graduation is over and the degree is in hand, more school loans are about to arrive in nice little white envelopes come November.

My solution for this has been to not only seek a paid internship, but to dabble in a little side business. I may not have mentioned it before but I love to sew. Back in college, I was able to train and learn under an awesome guy named Mark at Kansas State when I worked in the costume shop. I learned how to make lots of things, from petticoats and corsets, to ballgowns and dress pants. Within the past year, I've started making more things with my nifty little sewing machine. Specifically baby items. So far I've mastered how to make Slings, Embellished Burp Cloths, Nursing Aprons, Blankets, Diaper Bag Changing Pads, and Snugglers (mini-security blankets). After I started making these for friends, people kept telling me, "You should sell these." So after much prayer and a leap of faith, I decided to go through with it. Here's a peek at some of the items I've made over the past year.

The following are various other custom orders for friends -

from Burp Cloths to Nursing Aprons:

For Baby Liam

For Baby Owen
For Baby Caitlin

Various other designs and items (Snugglers not pictured)

Right now I'm working on choosing a name, getting a logo and website, and setting up an online store. But in the interim, I'm taking orders over e-mail and Facebook. I would love to make you something special. As an incentive to try me out, I'm offering a 20% discount to anyone that contacts me and mentions my blog "Some Babies Just". I guarantee you'll receive an item that is made with love and creativity. Leave me a comment or e-mail me (find the email in my profile box) if you're interested in having me start a special project just for you or someone you love.

Ahhhhhh.....

Pass me some expensive cheese and a fine bottle of wine! I just finished up my last test of graduate school and I'm ready to celebrate!

It seems surreal that in just five short weeks I'm going to have a real master's degree in my hot little hands. Reflecting on this with my friend Ali, I realized how big of an accomplishment this is for me. Ali exclaimed, "Wow! You did this, and were also able to be a full time mommy and wife!" You know what? She's right! I DID! I stuck with it. And it was hard. But it was worth it. I've found a career that I absolutely love. It's extremely rewarding and allows me to incorporate God's truth into helping people heal from their hurts.

So now, before I begin "working" for real (aka getting PAID to counsel), I'm going to enjoy this reprieve and bask in the greatness of God blessing me with this moment.

2010, the Latest Frontier

2010. It's here. No stopping it. Only 2 more years until the world ends, according to the sun worshiping folk from 100's of years ago. I think someone must have put something in the Kool-Aid, because according to my calculations (and my calculations are based on fact; aka the Word of God), I don't think we're going to "know" when the world will end and when Jesus is making his second appearance. So, I'm not worrying about it.

But thinking about the passing of years and how many I may have left (I'm only one year from 30 as of yesterday, you know...) I've recently been contemplating what this year is going to hold for me. From the looks of it, it could be quiet exciting. Here's just a few things that may (or may not) get accomplished this year.

1. I graduate with my master's degree in May. PRAISE JESUS! After three long years (longer if you include my first attempt back in 2003...), I'm finally going to finish what I started with a Master of Arts in Counseling. It's been an uphill battle, but well worth it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's standing there waiting for me, holding a big margarita to celebrate.

2. Taking my NCE (National Counselors Exam) soon after graduation to attain my temporary license so I can officially start working at an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor)!

3. Finishing up the MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) requirements of my program by August and taking the required exam for that so I can obtain my LMFT (can you guess what that stands for?).

4. Leading a group of mommies in our 2010 Spring MOPS group. I'm so excited to minister to these gals and to be a part of such a wonderful program. Building relationships with new and veteran mommies is such a soft spot on my heart and I can't wait to see what unfolds. Plus, hello, free breakfast every two weeks???

5. Maybe, just maybe make us a family of four....we'll see if God has that in the cards.

6. Continue to watch Gabriel grow up and celebrate his SECOND birthday in May. I can't believe he's almost two. Tomorrow he'll be 20 months. That's only 4 months away from 2! He's at such a fun stage right now and I know it's fleeting, but we're enjoying it while it's here. I love that he will sit in his room for 15-20 minutes at times, just reading to himself in his own language. It melts my heart to hear that gibberish that has such meaning to him.

7. Celebrate 6 wonderful years with the love of my life...I wonder where we'll go to celebrate this year?

8. Getting involved in our church and growing as a leader.

9. Growing closer to the Lord. I've been pretty bad about putting my relationship with Him on the back burner for several months and I think it's time that my position of apathy changes. He is the only reason I am blessed to celebrate, experience and grow from the above 8 things. This year, I want to make Him the priority instead of the things in life that really don't matter.

10. Come up with more acronyms.

Just a few things that 2010 has in store for me. Here's to a new, prosperous year!

Spinning Plates

And for my next trick, I will balance a full cup of coffee on my head while carrying a 30lb toddler in one arm, ironing my husband's shirts with the other, and testing the baby's bath water with one foot, all while studying for my three exams that will be given the next day.

That, my friends, is an understatement. My life feels like a three ring circus and I'm the final clown trying to squeeze into the car with all the other clowns whose work loads are similar to mine. Practicum started last week and school starts this week. Someone pass the Valium.

When I signed up to do three classes and a 20 hr/week internship, I thought, "No problem. It'll just be like having a full time job and being a mommy at the same time. Tons of people do it everyday. I can do it too."

Holy crap. How do you people do it? How do you manage to raise your kids, attend to your husband, keep your house clean, keep the dog fed, dishes and laundry done and work everyday without developing a drug or alcohol problem? I feel like I should sign up for an AA meeting now, even though I haven't started drinking.

Last night after I got home from the Advocacy Center, I laid in bed next to my husband, desperate to go to sleep. But all I could do was look at him and think, "Did I make the right choice? Is all this work, all this sacrifice, my family is enduring for me, worth it?" With tears streaming down my face at the thought, my husband took his hand, wiped away my tears, and said, "I love you." In that moment, I knew he was saying that he's in this with me. It's going suck, sure. I know there will be plenty of long nights and definitely more tears. But we're going to go through it together and when I'm finished in May, I'll be able to stand there in my cap and gown and say, "I'm no longer one of the clowns in a tiny car. I've graduated. I'm now the ringleader."

The Internship

Got some great news this week. I nailed down my practicum site. WOOHOO! I'm so excited. You may or may not know, but I'm working on my master's degree in counseling right now. I've now reached the point in my program where I actually get to try out what I've been learning to do. And, starting in August, I'm going to be working with kids and their families at the Children's Advocacy Center. It's a little scary to think that I'm really going to be responsible for counseling people, especially children. But, I'm hopeful that I'll be well trained, supervised and will get a LOT of feedback on how to improve my craft.

My heart beats strongly for the kids that come through this center. For those that don't know what the Children's Advocacy Center does, let me enlighten you. The CAC works with children that have been sexually abused. These kids come to the center to tell their story and to work with counselors, the police and child protective services. The goal is to offer a service that assists in the healing process these kids so desperately need. The staff works hard to prepare these kids to testify in court when they have to face their perpetrator(s). They not only use individual and group counseling techniques, but they offer special services to the children and their families, such as dog and equine assisted therapy. They also team up with a group called BACA. Click on the link to learn more about this awesome program. I'm telling you, this center does amazing things.

I know that this practicum experience is going to be hard. I know it's going to be challenging. But, I also know that it will be rewarding to be apart of the healing that's going to take place in the lives of these children that have been so unfairly wounded. Here's to learning and to helping others.

The lightbulb has been replaced

So someone finally put in a new halogen at the end of my tunnel. This week I found out that I am set to be done with my master's work in May 2010! That's only a year away! PRAISE GOD!

For those that don't know my sad story, here it is. After finishing a grueling four years at K-State (it really wasn't grueling, I just wanted to use that word), I was swept away by my husband to be to this hot, humid state of Texas. I enrolled at Texas Woman's University, working towards completing my master's in family therapy. I took the maximum amount of classes I could take my first semester which ended up being a mistake. Although receiving all A's my first semester, I was BURNT OUT. I was trying to be a successful college student, work full time, plan a wedding two states away, build a house, and attempting to be civil to my future groom. It wasn't working. So I decided that I would take a semester off. I needed a break. I was owed a break. I had been in school since I was in preschool. Taking six months off would be good for me....

Six months turned into four and a half years. I got lazy. Plain and simple. MY plan was to always go back and finish, but I had other things I wanted to do. In May2006, Michael and I decided that we were ready to expand our family. But after over a year of trying and planning, as well as having to live through a miscarriage, I decided I needed a distraction and that I was going to finish what I started. So in August 2007, I enrolled at Dallas Baptist University, set out to complete this degree that had been hanging over my head for years. God decided to be funny and we found out we were pregnant with Gabriel two weeks after I started school. Funny how life works out that way isn't it?

I won't lie, I was tempted to quit again. I even took the semester after I had Gabriel off so I could adjust to being a new mommy. It was nice. My only responsibility, aside from being a good wife to my husband, was to take care of Gabriel. But God kept pressing on me that I needed to complete this opportunity He blessed me with. So here I am, still trucking away, trying to finish up this degree. And after this past Monday, I can finally see the light at the end of my tunnel! Only one more year of tough weekdays and hard-pressed weekends. In May 2010, I'll have my degree and will be well on my way of becoming the therapist that I've always dreamed of becoming.

God, thank you for putting that desire in my heart. It's only through you that it's becoming a reality.