I've been prepping for several weeks for 3 things at school. One has been to write a rather large term paper on a Christian counselor named Paul Meier. Next, has been preparing to give a presentation on the paper and third was to take a very difficult test in my Psychopathologies class. Now, if I was single and sans child, I think this would be pretty do-able. But, goodness. Trying to find time to write, prepare, and study, not to mention keeping up-to-date on my readings for both classes, is next to impossible when you're a wife and mother. The laundry is piled up almost 3 feet high, dinner from 3 days ago is clinging onto dear life in the bowls still sitting in the sink, and my house looks like Romper Room. (do you guys remember that show???) How do you find balance to make it all work?
I know that this path is what is best for my family. Eventually, I'll have the degree I've been facinating over for years and then I can go back to work, doing something I feel that God has purposed me for. But the journey of getting there is wearing me thin. Last night, as I was getting my #2 pencil out to take my Psychopathologies test, I was certain that I was about to have a panic attack. Was I ready for this test? I should have studied more. I shouldn't have fallen asleep reading about the medicial treatments to unipolar disorder. What is a neurotransmitter again? Do I remember the mneomonic devise to Obessive Compulsive Disorder? Did I leave the stove on when I left the house? AGH! Then, Dr. Cook (my rockstar teacher) said, "Let's say a prayer shall we?" He proceeded to ask God to bless our time together , to calm our anxious hearts, to sharpen our minds, and to allow us to recall the information we had studied. In that moment, God's peace washed over me.
Now, did I ace my test? No, probably not. (But I did remember the symptoms for OCD!) But God's peace came over me and allowed me to get through that test without going into convulsions or throwing up. I think I even gave a desent presentation. That's sufficient. And for that, I'm grateful.
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