Lots of News!

Things have rapidly been changing for us here in Salina. We've already experienced several ups and downs, but are continuing to love our life here. This week, Michael and I decided that it would probably be best if we rented a home. Michael is still searching for the right job here and we're continuing to seek God's wisdom on what steps to take next. We're currently looking for a place that we can rent for about 6-12 months so we can get on our feet again and hopefully by a house soon. All in God's timing, right? We've been having a lot of fun hanging out with family and friends. We feel confident that God is going to continue to grow these relationships and take them to an unbelievable level.

But, we do have some great news! I have a job!! I recently took a position as an T-LPC at Sandstone Bridge Center here in Salina. I love the ladies I work with and I think my future at Sandstone will be a bright one. I already have a few clients and am hoping to acquire more in the next several months. So, if you know of anyone seeking a counselor, especially if they're seeking a Christian counselor, please feel free to give them my name!

Also, we have chosen a new church home. It feels good to finally have a church family again. Our pastor and his wife are wonderful and we are really looking forward to what God has in store for us here in Salina, by being involved in this church. New Community Church is much smaller than what we were accustomed to in Texas, but we have a strong feeling that this church is about to explode with growth. I was telling my friend Traci that it reminds me of what Milestone Church was probably like when they were just in the cafetorium. Now look at them!! And, boy, was I surprised to take Gabriel to children's church and find out that they were using Elevate curriculum!! The pastor's wife was a little taken aback to find out that one of the actors and writers of the curriculum she was using was now attending her church in Salina, KS!

We've been fortunate enough to attend a few KSU football games with the boys and what fun they've had. Gabriel now knows how to chant K-S-U Wildcats! K-S-U Wildcats! Needless to say, Daddy and Mommy are proud. And the boys look so cute decked out in their purple on game days! We've also gotten to attend a local parade and now, every time we go down Santa Fe with Gabriel, he asks if we can watch the parade. He's in for a treat when they do the Light Up Downtown parade for the holiday season!

I also had the opportunity to attend my sorority's 20th anniversary at the KSU campus. KSU Sigma Kappas from 20+ years back attended a very nice celebration weekend that the active members put together. It was great to catch up with some sisters I hadn't seen in years and others that I had lost touch with. It was funny to learn that the same drama is still occuring at the house, 10+ years after I was there!

Then, just a couple of days ago, we got to experience our first Halloween as a family in Salina. My boys were so cute!! Gabriel was Batman and Dominic was Robin. Both boys were so patient with going to visit all of our family to show off their costumes. And wow, did they rack in the candy. We had so much fun with them, Gabriel especially. It was really great to get a break from the stress of not having our own place - t0 just let go and have fun together as a family. Not to mention all the yummy candy Michael and I now get to steal from our kids!

Strangely enough, we found out that it's going to snow tonight! SNOW!!!! We've been back in Salina for 4 months and we're already going to experience snow!!! I'm so excited! We haven't really gotten to enjoy fall for too long, but regardless, I'm happy for cooler weather. Now we just need to get moved into a home and we'll be set for the winter!

And we can't forget to keep the black knight at bay. :)

The Heart Expands

When I thought about my second son arriving into this great big world of ours, I knew I would love him. But I worried that I wouldn't be able to love him as much as my first son. Gabriel had been our world for the last 3 years. How would it even be possible to love another little being as much as we loved Gabriel? Well, on March 16th, both my husband and I found out that God has the amazing ability to double the size of your heart in a matter of moments.

Tuesday, March 15th started out like any other day. My parents were in town, anticipating the arrival of their second grandchild, and I was thankful to have them to help me with my rambunctious little two year old. That morning I woke up with slight cramping, but didn't think too much about it. I had a doctor's appointment set for 3:00 that afternoon and after visiting with her, we'd find out if this little guy was going to be making an appearance any time soon. After my lovely examination, I found out that I was still only dilated to a measly 1.

Now, Michael and I had been moving forward with plans to have me attempt a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), but at this rate, Dominic was getting very, very big. We couldn't wait much longer and my chances of having a successful VBAC were fading away. So, we decided that we would go ahead and plan to have another C-Section for March 17th. We chose the 17th because we thought it would be fun to have a St. Patty's Day Baby.

But Dominic had other plans.

That evening, Michael and I decided to have one last "Family of Three" date. We took Gabriel out to eat at our favorite Mexican Restaurant and then ventured out to Target to find a St. Patrick's Day onesie. As I was waddling around (yes, I really did waddle), Target, I noticed I was starting to cramp a lot. Little did I know that a couple hours later, I would start to have contractions. By 9:00pm, my contractions were about 7 minutes apart and by midnight they were sitting at 5 minutes apart.

Michael quickly called my parents to come over from their hotel to stay with Gabriel and he whisked me off to the hospital. I have to say, it was touching and funny to see my husband getting nervous and excited about the arrival of our baby. I was really going into labor on my own, something I didn't get to experience with Gabriel. By 12:30, we were checked into the hospital and the nurses began monitoring my contractions. I had bumped up to a 2, and the contractions were coming on stronger. After deciding that I was not going home and that I was indeed having the baby within the next 24 hours, things began to happen rather quickly. I received my epidural around 4:00am and was soon out of the pain of natural childbirth. Around 10am, I suddenly felt a POP! and I got to experience my water breaking. I know that might seem a bit much to share, but you have to understand, these were all firsts for me. I didn't to go through any of this with my first child. The doctor came into check me and I had made it all the way up to a 7! That was 3 higher than I made it to with Gabriel!

My doctor was wanting to monitor my contractions a little closer and decided to put a pressure monitor in, but as she was doing so, things went wrong. My blood pressure suddenly dropped, which was the strangest feeling in the world. I thought I was going to pass out. Immediately after my blood pressure took a nose dive, Dominic's heart rate dropped. I saw concern wash over my doctor's face and she looked at me and said, "Kristina, we have to get him out now." At that moment, I didn't care what they had to do or what goals I had set. I wanted my baby safe.

"GET HIM OUT!" I cried.

Soon 10 people were in my hospital room, rushing me to the OR. Someone threw the "Daddy Suit" at Michael and told him to get dressed. They quickly took me to the OR and started prepping for surgery. I've never seen people move so fast. I was completely overwhelmed and started crying. Was my baby going to be okay? Could they get him out in time? I had been told that attempting a VBAC was risky and I prayed that God would wrap his arms of protection around Dominic and I. Through my tears, I saw my doctor come over to me and although she was concerned, she was ready and confident that everything would be okay. She took my hand and squeezed it, telling me that Dominic was okay and that they were going to get him out as soon as possible.

Now, from where I was lying, it seemed as though it was taking FOREVER for them to get him out. But Michael told me that from the time they took me into surgery to the time Dominic arrived, it was a only a matter of about 7 minutes. It amazes me how fast and precise those doctors and nurses can be.

Michael was right by my side the whole time. I continued to cry, pleading with him to reassure me everything was okay. Not too long after that, I heard the beautiful wail of a newborn! My baby was here! And he was perfect! Michael joined in with me in tears of celebration and relief that we were now a family of 4! Immediately, I felt God expand my heart. I loved him unconditionally the second he arrived.

Dominic Isaiah was born at 12:48pm on March 16th. He was 9 lbs, 8 oz and 22.25" long. No wonder he wouldn't fit!! When he emerged, my doctor's first sentence to him was, "Well, Happy 3 Month Birthday to you, little guy!"

My doctor also told me that his cord had wrapped around his neck a couple of times and that the pressure of my contractions was difficult on him, hence the drop in heart rate. Thankfully, all was well and Dominic was in perfect condition.


As I sat in our recovery room together with my family, I was in awe at how good God was to us. We now had a beautiful, perfect, little family of four and I was forever grateful. Now begins the journey of raising my rambunctious toddler and an itty-bitty newborn. I love them both more than I ever could have imagined and I can't wait to see how much more I'll love them as time goes on.

The Final Countdown

Today marks my 31st week of being pregnant with our second child. I'm astonished that 31 weeks have already gone by and that in just about 8-9 more weeks, we'll meet our newest little family member.

Over Christmas, Michael and I came to the realization that subsequent children tend to get the shaft. I realize that a lot of this is accounted for by the fact that we're chasing after a two and a half year old all day, every day. But I don't want this baby to look back on the days before he was born and think, "Gee, Mom and Dad, thanks. I feel robbed." I haven't been as diligent about taking pregnancy photos to document my growing belly. My pregnancy journal is not nearly as detailed as I'd like it to be. We have yet to paint his nursery (although we're working on it this weekend), or buy him a crib or even a car seat for that matter.

But does that mean we love him any less? Absolutely not. We can not wait to meet this new little addition to our family and for Gabriel to experience what it's like to have a little brother. I'm sure after his arrival, we'll be very busy spoiling him with hugs, kisses and all the things we did to let Gabriel know we were so happy to have him in our lives. In the meantime, we need to get the ball rolling and prepare for his arrival a little more efficiently. I tried getting more efficient by taking a picture of my growing belly over Christmas!

Big baby at 29 weeks - already measuring 2 weeks early!

This pregnancy has been 180 degrees different than my pregnancy with Gabriel. First of all, I was extremely sick the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy - leading me to believe that he was going to be a she. Second, I haven't gained very much weight (praise God!). Third, I've been much more laid back (after my initial 16 weeks) about the safety and well being of this baby boy. Early on in my pregnancy I was very worried that something was going to happen to cause me to lose the pregnancy. I had several friend who were due around the same day I was that were losing their pregnancies and I was sure that I was going to be next. We experienced a miscarriage before we had Gabriel and it shook our world up for sure. But towards the 15-16th week of my ridiculous worrying and crying spells, Michael turned to me one night and said,

"Do you trust God, Kristina?"

I looked at him through my blurry eyes, tears still streaming down my face and was about to retort, "Well yes, of course I do."

But I stopped and thought about it. Did I trust Him? I knew I trusted Him with my marriage, with our finances, with our job situations, with our friends - with a whole lot of things. But did I trust Him with this pregnancy?

"No. I guess I don't. I want to. But I don't know how."

It took a lot of praying and encouraging from some solid Christian women as well as my amazing husband to teach me how to trust God with all things, including this new little life inside me. And the incredible part of my learning this was, once I put my trust in Him, my worries of another miscarriage went away. It didn't mean that I didn't understand that it was a possibility. But it meant that I could trust Him to take care of me - good or bad - and that in the end, His love for me would never fail.

Thankfully, this pregnancy has been very smooth and for the most part, very enjoyable. As the weeks go by, I get more excited about finally being able to meet my new son. It's going to be a change for sure, going from a family of three to a family of four. But it's something I wouldn't trade in for anything.

We can't wait to meet you, Dominic.

The Year was 1981....

Today is the day. I'm officially in a new age bracket. Today is the day I turned 30. And on such days, it's fun to look back at what was going on the year you were born. Back in 1981:

1. The first DeLorean sports cars roll off the assembly line.

2. Prince Charles and Diana Spencer marry July 29.

3. Music Television was born

4. Tom Cruise makes his acting debut.

5. Sandra Day O'Connor becomes first female Supreme Court Justice.

6. A stamp only cost $.15!

7. The 1st space shuttle called the Columbia launches for the first time.

8. Olivia Newton John's song, "Let's Get Physicial" is a number one hit.

9. The US Agriculture Department tries making ketchup a school lunch vegetable

10. Atari releases home version of Pac-Man in the US and sparks a huge craze

It seems to me that most people "my age" don't really freak out too much about turning 30, and I didn't think I would either. But to be honest, it's a little unnerving to say that I'm no longer in my 20's. Not that I feel like I'm old and playing my last round, but there's something different, something, "maturing", about turning 30. Here are just a few things I've realized about myself now that I'm thirty and officially an adult.

1. Coloring my hair is no longer just for fun. It really is a necessity to hide all those grays.

2. Staying up past midnight is absolutely crazy and if I chose to be so nuts, it will take me at least 24 to 48 hours to recover from loss of sleep.

3. My body does not bounce back the way it once did.

4. I now relish a cup of coffee.

5. Naps are a gift from God.

6. The experience of being a wife and a mother far out-way the fun I had as a 20 something girl, playing the field.

7. Staying at home on a Friday night, curled up on the couch with my husband is my idea of a fabulous date.

8. Friendships are not disposable and it's important to put forth the effort to keep them active, alive and healthy.

9. Staying true to my convictions as a Christ follower are of greater importance than trying to fit in with the main stream society.

10. God willing, I've only lived a third of my life!

Those are just ten of many things I've realized and I'm sure the next 30 years will bring about more epiphanies. I know in just the upcoming year I have a lot to look forward to! Here's to you 30. May you be the beginning of a great era in my life.

Reflecting

As I was rocking my sniffling little boy this morning, I was reflecting on how blessed I was. It seems odd to have this thought pop in your head when you're awakened at 5:45am to the sound of crying and your little one suffering from a runny nose and a fever. But in the midst of his tears and little whimpers, I thought about how much I have and how thankful I am to be where I'm at in life. Here are just a few of the things I considered myself blessed with this morning.

1. My relationship with Jesus - This is something I have been blessed with for a long time, but seldom have the courage to talk about. Sure, people know I'm a Christian, but what exactly does that mean? To me, it means that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus Christ died for my sins and has redeemed me. He is my bridge to a relationship with God the Father and I'm so grateful that He guides me through life. I've lived the life without God in it. It's not worth it. Sin is fun for a while, but it definitely catches up to you. And when it does, God is still there, waiting for you to come back, to restore you. I'm grateful that I figured this out pretty early on in college. I'm not perfect, things are not always easy for me, nor do I have life all figured out. But the one thing I do know at the end of the day is that Jesus loves me, no matter what. And that when everything and everyone else fails me, He's always there - encouraging me to stay the course and to trust in Him.

2. My family - Really it doesn't get much better than this. I have the most amazing husband in the whole world. He loves me in a sexy dress and even when I've whipped out the tattered sweatpants. Nothing tells you a man loves you more than when he'll snuggle with you in ratty sweats, wearing no make up, and your hair looks like Woody the Woodpecker may have tried to create a home in it. My son is also incredible. Although parenting has not been an easy adventure, I have a pretty well-behaved, respectful, sweet, and handsome little boy. My prayer is that his little brother will be just a duplicate of those things.

3. My church - When people say they love their church, I often wondered what they meant by that. Do they love the building? The atmosphere? The programing? Just the pastor? When I say it, I mean I love the people. All those extra things are wonderful too, but it's the people that have become dear to my heart. I have made so many friends at our church. These people don't just talk it, they live it. They are there for you when things get tough and love you enough to hold you accountable when you're too blind to see mistakes you're making. They truly love people like Jesus does.

4. Our current situation - I've been a stay at home mom for about two and a half years now. It's been an interesting journey. I've loved being able to be with Gabriel and watch him grow and develop. It's crazy to think that we've been able to manage living off of just Michael's income. (Thank the good Lord for free TV online....) Although we don't have all the latest and greatest things, nicest cars, newest clothes, or the ability to go out to eat all the time, we really do love our life. God is putting a stirring in my heart to go back to work part time after the baby is born, which is exciting and frightening all at the same time. But as it stands now, I'm content with where He has us. Michael has a good job and I'm grateful I get to spend every day molding and training my son to be a good person and a man of God.

There are many more things I'm thankful for, but in the 15 minutes I spent giving Gabriel some much needed snuggling this morning, those are the four things that really stuck out to me. I may not have all the latest and greatest things, but I've got the essentials. That's all that really matters, right?

Like a Diamond Baby Boutique

It's official! We have a new business! Michael just finished my logo and we're up and running. I started a Facebook page and we're hoping to have our website up and running soon. I can also start taking orders via e-mail at our new e-mail address: orders@likeadiamondbaby.com.

Sometimes it feels surreal that this is actually happening, that I'm really going to try to sell what I love making. But I have a peace that this is something God wants us to do. Our prayer and hope is that He will bless this venture.

Let me know what you think of my snazzy new logo!

Lover

So I'm going to get mushy for a minute.

I just love my husband. He really is the best. After almost 6 years of marriage, some people might start to refer to their husbands in less than appealing terms, but not me. I got the cream of the crop ladies.

Last weekend, our family had the chance to be photographed by the ever talented Shelley Foster. She caught some amazing shots of our sweet little guy, Gabriel. But on a whim, she took some photos of just Michael and I. This picture really sums it up of how much I love and adore my husband. And we're past the ooey, gooey, make you want to throw up infatuation. This is deep, folks. Our marriage has definitely had some trials, but the one thing that has remained constant through those trials has been our love for one another.

We're approaching our 6 year anniversary and I can say with confidence, I'm ready to spend 66 more years with this man, if God allows it to be.

Alright, a few paragraphs of gushing is about all I can handle for one day. I love you, babe. Enough said.

"I love being a girl"

I'm such a girl sometimes. I cry, I pout, I produce more drama in my life than I have executive rights for. I usually say way too much and have a difficult time saying no. I over-commit. And in the end, I usually feel completely overwhelmed.

But thank the good Lord above for girlfriends. Yesterday was a textbook case of the female breakdown. I called a bestie yesterday afternoon to discuss the said crisis for the week and completely melted in the car. There I was, driving down FM 407, mascara running down my face, wiping my nose on my sleeve, bawling into the phone, trying to get to my internship (a major source of my stress). I told her that I think I'm like Mrs. Incredible minus the "incredible" part. You know the part in The Incredibles where Mrs. Incredible has to save her children from the burning plane and so she has to stretch herself out like a balloon? That's me. Not the life-saving, courageous part. The stretched out to the limit part, with people clinging onto you, wanting something from you. (Dramatic, I told you.)

After sobbing to my friend for way too long, I said, "Do you know what I mean?" And she said, "Yes. I feel that way, too." Now, I'm not happy that she's neck deep this crap. I hurt for her. But, it is comforting to know that I'm not alone in the foxhole. I've got someone beside me that understands where I'm at and what I'm going through. And, after talking with her and asking for some prayer, I felt like I could be Mrs. Incredible just a little bit longer...but just until May.

Survival

We made it. Our first trip without Gabriel was a success. No, scratch that. It was FREAKIN' FANTASTIC! It's difficult for me to begin describing how incredible it is to take a trip post baby, with just your husband. I don't know how many people (if any people) read my blog, but if you do, you're a parent and you haven't taken a trip with just your hubby, stop what you're doing right now. Go online. BOOK A VACATION. This trip did wonders for my marriage. And there is nothing wrong with my marriage! I have an amazing, devoted, loving husband. But this trip re-energized us. We stayed in a phenomenal cabin (check out this website if you want to vacation in Colorado), ate great food, drank good drinks, and played, played, played! We went to Garden of the Gods, Cripple Creek, Cave of the Winds and Pikes Peak. We even got to have lunch with my cousin, Christina Von Fange Culver (awesome name, huh?) and her husband Randy. We had a blast. Here are just a few snap shots from our little adventure.

The love of my life!

Garden of the Gods. Breathtaking.
Our cozy "little" cabin.

The view behind our cabin.

Another view from behind the cabin.

The aspens outside our cabin. Beautiful!

A few visitors that stopped by our cabin.

Scary, I know.

It snowed the last night we were there!

My cousin, Christina Von Fange! Can you tell we're related?

Our our way up the Cog Railway to Pikes Peak!

The view atop Pikes Peak.

Who's having a better time? I don't think it's the sawdust stuffed ram.

Flippin' Cold. 18 degrees, -7 degree wind chill, 35 mph winds. Thought I was going to die.

Delicious hot donuts and hot chocolate at the top. Only $100 million dollars.

Alright, back to the story.

Now, I won't lie, it was hard leaving Littlest behind. I missed him every day. And every night when I would get to talk to him on the phone and all I could make out through the babbling was "Mama," I would almost cry. But then we'd say goodnight, it was done and we were back to having fun! Do you remember what it's like to go to dinner just with your husband? Stay out as late as you want? Go somewhere that doesn't require a kid friendly atmosphere? Just do whatever you want? If you're having issues remembering what this part of leisurely life is like, BOOK A VACATION.

God created marriage before He created procreation. He wants us to make sure that our marriage is in good standing so we can ensure our family is in good standing. Michael and I accepted this challenge and fulfilled it joyfully this past weekend. Have you put some time into making sure your marriage is in tip top shape? If it looks like your marriage may need a little TLC right now, take it from me: BOOK A VACATION.

Preparations

My husband reached a great milestone today. He crossed the threshold to wisdom and clarity. Ah yes, the threshold that is: Turning Thirty.


To celebrate this monumental occasion, we did what most people do: book a trip and leave the kid behind. That's right, we're going on our first trip without Gabriel. I have to admit, as the day draws near, I'm getting increasingly more anxious. Can we really leave Gabriel behind for four whole days? Will he survive without us? Will he even miss us or remember who we are when we return? (I never said my thoughts weren't ridiculous.)


My parents have been gracious enough to make the 7 hour commute to watch him while we're away and although I know he's in very capable hands, I still have worries. What if he gets a fever? What if he breaks a limb? What if he, God-forbid, gets the swine flu? Then there's the other irrational side of the coin. What if we die in a car wreck? What if we get mauled by a bear? What if a mountain lion eats me in the middle of the night? What will Gabriel do?

With these preposterous ideas floating around, we decided that God was trying to tell us to be prepared. Okay, maybe God wasn't really saying that...He was probably saying, "Trust me," but my initial interpretation (and they say you should always go with your gut instinct right?) was to be extra cautious. We'll trust Him AND be prepared. So, we created "The Will." (dun, dun, dun!) Definitely not the most fun conversation to have with your husband who is reaching a pivotal moment in his life. But a necessary one to have nonetheless. Good news is, it's done.

Now, with only 4 days left until departure, I must get in loads of hugs, kisses and snuggles with my favorite Littlest Buddy. Even though I know I'll see him again in only a few short days, I'm going to take each day to love him like it's the last time I'll see him. And then, live it up with my husband, my lover, my best friend, my everything for a well needed and well deserved vacation sans child. Here's to new "firsts".

Spinning Plates

And for my next trick, I will balance a full cup of coffee on my head while carrying a 30lb toddler in one arm, ironing my husband's shirts with the other, and testing the baby's bath water with one foot, all while studying for my three exams that will be given the next day.

That, my friends, is an understatement. My life feels like a three ring circus and I'm the final clown trying to squeeze into the car with all the other clowns whose work loads are similar to mine. Practicum started last week and school starts this week. Someone pass the Valium.

When I signed up to do three classes and a 20 hr/week internship, I thought, "No problem. It'll just be like having a full time job and being a mommy at the same time. Tons of people do it everyday. I can do it too."

Holy crap. How do you people do it? How do you manage to raise your kids, attend to your husband, keep your house clean, keep the dog fed, dishes and laundry done and work everyday without developing a drug or alcohol problem? I feel like I should sign up for an AA meeting now, even though I haven't started drinking.

Last night after I got home from the Advocacy Center, I laid in bed next to my husband, desperate to go to sleep. But all I could do was look at him and think, "Did I make the right choice? Is all this work, all this sacrifice, my family is enduring for me, worth it?" With tears streaming down my face at the thought, my husband took his hand, wiped away my tears, and said, "I love you." In that moment, I knew he was saying that he's in this with me. It's going suck, sure. I know there will be plenty of long nights and definitely more tears. But we're going to go through it together and when I'm finished in May, I'll be able to stand there in my cap and gown and say, "I'm no longer one of the clowns in a tiny car. I've graduated. I'm now the ringleader."

The New Toy

So, I have a new toy. My husband and I are not ones to spend money on ourselves. Nor are we the type of people to purchase the latest and greatest technology.

But after a YEAR of researching (and procrastinating) we have bought...dun, dun, dun: iPHONES!

And they're fabulous. I won't lie. I probably play with it and am on it WAY more than I should be. Am I now too connected? Probably. But am I'm having fun being WAY too connected? Oh absolutely. Just ask Facebook.

Here's just a sample of the fun we've been having with them.

We have arrived

It's time to unbuckle our seat belts, step out of the car into the baking hot sun and take a look around. We've done it, kids. We're here.

Our family has been going through some "stretching" as of late. Much of it has been needed, but I won't lie to you. It's been a hard thing to go through. Often times, things don't go as planned. Some things don't work out. But one thing I know for sure. After going through this forced stretching, you will come out a stronger person and better off.

This week our lives start anew. We're going to be experiencing some firsts. And we're excited about it.

Alright, enough with the vague reflections. For those that know what's going on: we're doing great, things are looking up, and we're ready to move forward.

Take a right at the fork in the road

Thus begins a new journey for my family. We're getting ready to go into uncharted waters and I'm nervous. Do we have enough food? Did I remember to pack an extra pair of underwear? Did someone remember to let the dog out? I have a feeling we may be stopping at some gas stations along the way to ask for directions, even though my husband cringes at the very thought of it. We knew this trip was coming, but it snuck up on us. Hopefully we've got enough gas in the tank to make it where we're going...even though we're not really sure where that is yet (hence asking Joe Bob at the 7-11 for directions). If anyone has any ideas on where our final destination should be, we're open to suggestions.

Don't you love it when people talk in metaphor?

I hate ironing...or do I?

Recently I got into a little tiff with my husband about ironing. Growing up, Michael's mom always ironed shirts for his dad. It was never a power struggle or bone of contention. It was just expected that she would iron the shirts. So, when Michael and I got married, I think he thought that I would end up doing the same thing. And why wouldn't he? That's what he had grown up thinking wives did.

But here's the dilemma...I don't do ironing. I don't even iron my own clothes. In my family, the ironing board was only brought out for special occasions like ironing the Easter or Christmas dress or possibly pressing a pair of slacks for church. But ironing shirts? On a regular basis? Who do I look like, June Cleaver?

As I was saying, a few months ago we got into an argument about Michael desiring that I iron his shirts. He rebutted my firm NO, I WON'T DO IT with the idea that it would really help him out in the mornings and that he would really appreciate it. But I didn't care. I was wrapped up in the idea that if I conceded to pressing his wrinkly shirts that I would be pigeonholed as a little housewife. I started to fear that he thought I needed to iron shirts because what else did I have to do all day now that I was staying at home with the baby? I didn’t want to be labeled…next thing you’d know, I’d be wearing “mom jeans.” I stood my ground, telling him that I was NOT his mother (not such a wise thing to tell your husband, ladies) and that he could iron his own dang shirts.

Now let's fast-forward 4 months. I was sorting laundry (something I absolutely loath doing) and began putting all of those wrinkly shirts on hangers, ready to shove them into the mess of a closet that we have in our bedroom. As I'm scrounging around for more plastic hangers (don't worry Joan Crawford, his shirts don't go on wire hangers), I realized how selfish I was being. I hadn't stopped to think that by ironing Michael's shirts for him I could not only save him time in the mornings, but I could also show him that I loved him. It was something simple that I could do to show him that I didn’t want to make his life harder but easier, and that I wanted to *gulp* serve him. Proverbs 31 talks about the Wife of Nobel Character. This is a woman that I’ve always wanted to be like, striving to match what she does to take care of her family. If this was my model, how was my egotistic attitude reaching this goal? Proverbs 31: 11-12 says this:

“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Was that what I was doing? When I stopped and meditated on this verse, I found that I needed to change my tune. So I stopped fussing about not having enough plastic hangers, went and got out the ironing board, and started pressing away. And you know what? It wasn’t that bad! I even got to watch an episode of the Biggest Loser. Definitely a win-win!

I’m still not the perfect wife by any stretch of the imagination, but little by little, I’m becoming a better wife. And at least now my husband will look a little cleaner cut when he goes to work.

I think I'll keep him

After being with someone for almost 10 years, it's easy to get caught up in the routine of your life. You wake up together, eat breakfast, kiss each other goodbye, go about your day, greet him with a kiss when he gets home, have dinner, put the baby to bed, watch a show, go to bed, and the routine starts all over again. The pattern is not one you stray away too far from because it's comfortable, it's what you know. But occasionally, you or he, may decide to stir things up a bit. That's what happened to me yesterday.

We were busy getting ready to head out to McKinney to see Michael's brother, sister-in-law and kids, throwing ourselves together, trying to keep Gabriel content before we headed out the door. I had just gotten out of the shower, hair still up in a towel, and Michael says to me, "You need to pack an overnight bag." Huh? After razzing him about his secretive plot and learning nothing of his plans, I obliged and threw something together in a bag. Michael casually threw in that I needed to pack something nice to wear for that evening. So after having to make a quick decision on something a little more upscale, I threw my bag into the car and buckled the baby in, hoping I remembered contact solution and my underwear.

After a fun afternoon with the Paul, Rachel and the kids, Michael instructed me to change and Rachel took my sad little baby away for his afternoon nap, instructing me to give him kisses since I wouldn't see him until morning. Again, huh? I did as I was told, and then away we went. Michael surprised me by taking me to the Dallas Arboretum, a magical place of flowers, colors, and scents. We strolled around admiring the tulips, roses, snapdragons, and various other plants that I can't name and it dawned on me. My husband is "dating" me right now! We held hands, not straying far from one another, stole an occasional kiss or two and enjoyed just being together, alone.

Next up was a crazy tour of Downtown Dallas (we had a couple of hours to kill before dinner) and we both decided that navigating Dallas was not something we wanted to have for a day job. We found a cute little place called the Idle Rich Pub and enjoyed a tasty treat while having adult conversation that didn't consist of diapers, what Gabriel had for dinner or how many naps he took. We talked about our future, and our goals and what we wanted to focus our lives on. It was a deep connection neither of us had felt in a long time, especially since adding our son into our family.

After killing sometime in Dallas, I asked where this secret was going to lead us to...in other words, what's for dinner? Mum was the word and after finding our car, we skipped across the street (not literally, Michael doesn't skip), and we had dinner at an amazing restaurant called Sambuca. Then the feast began. We started off with delicious bruschetta tapenades, then moved onto a nicely prepared Ribeye complimented by candied sweet potatoes, prochuttio macaroni and cheese, broccoli crunch, and dill infused tater tots. OH MY WORD! I have never eaten so well in my life! Then to bring the meal to a close, we enjoyed a delicious creme brulee. I almost had to be wheeled out the door.

The night ended on such a high note. We enjoyed our dinner without feeling we had to shovel our food in, hoping to get our money's worth before Gabriel melted down. I got to focus all of my attention on the love of my life, not having to share it with anyone else. It was a perfect evening, with a perfect guy.

All this to say, we realized that we needed to do this more often. Dating your spouse and pushing out the distractions to focus on each other is important. Our next date might not include a Ribeye and live entertainment, but it sure as heck will include childcare. Thanks for a great night, love. It was wonderful.

The Addiction

Hello. My name is Kristina. [Hi, Kristina.] I'm addicted to TV.

I admit it. I'm completely enthralled with this little box that lights up. Michael and I have always joked around about our perfect date being dinner at home and watching a movie together on the couch. But the more we think about it, the more it's not a joke. We really love TV. What's funnier than just being addicted to television is being addicted to television when you don't have cable (or satellite). Our new best friend, offering loads of prime time drama, is hulu.com. Have you heard of it? It's fabulous! Most of the shows we enjoy watching can all be found on hulu (minus Lost). And now that Michael has figured out how to hook up our MacBookPro to our rather large television, the enjoyment of TV watching is even greater.

Here is just a sample of what we're addicted to. (Don't you love that I'm throwing him in this addiction admittance, too?)

In no particular order:
1. Lost
2. The Office
3. Battlestar Galactica
4. Chuck
5. House
6. Heroes
7. Fringe
8. Lie to Me
9. 24 (although your days are numbered Jack Bauer...you've jumped one to many sharks as of late)

Wow. That's only 9...that's not too bad, is it? I mean, we're not even in double digit territory. Maybe I'm not as much of an addict as I thought.

Well, even if I'm not an addict, there is no denying that I LOVE to watch shows with my handsome groom. Although the story lines seem to go no where sometimes (House and Cuddy are never going to do it, Hiro will always think he's meant to save the world alone, there will always be tension between Jack, Sawyer and Kate, and Michael Scott will NEVER learn to be socially appropriate) it's a dang good source of FREE entertainment. Thank you, television networks for feeding my addiction with quality programming. I heart you.

Overrated

Ah, February 14th. The day of love, flowers, chocolates, and romantic dinners. The night where men profess their love to the women in their lives and life is at an all time high.

I love you, Sarah.

I love you too, Robert.

(he gets down on one knee, opening the box containing the ring she has be waiting her whole life for.) Sarah, will you marry me?

(tears in her eyes) Oh yes, Robert, yes!

*insert screeching record here**
Riiiiiight.....In the Freeland house it works a little differently. Valentine's Day is just another day on the calendar. Michael and I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day. We don't bother with it, not to mention my husband is against buying flowers for anyone, let alone me. The thought of being expected to buy me flowers on a certain day because Hallmark tells him it's the thing to do, is repulsive. Second, both of us find it irritating that one day is set aside a year where you're supposed to declare your love for your significant other. Call me cynical, but when I said my vows almost 5 years ago, wasn't I suppose to show my husband I loved him every day of the year?

Now don't get me wrong, I love being wooed. Even though he finds it ridiculous to buy flowers that will eventually die, I enjoy receiving roses, daisies, and the like...I'll never turn those down. But I don't want my husband to give me flowers, chocolates, or ridiculously expensive jewelry because he feels obligated or guilted into it. I want him to show me he loves me intangibly and tangibly when he chooses to (preferably more than once a year!). I think this makes the gesture more genuine and appreciated all the more.

Whether your a cynic like me or you buy into the hub-bub of this commericalized holiday, Happy Valentine's Day. Hopefully your lover will continue telling you how much he/she loves you even after the 14th of February has passed. I know mine will, just not with flowers.

Reflecting

In the face of tragedy, you tend to do a little soul searching. Here are a couple of things I've discovered this week.

I love my husband as much as I love to breath. I don't know how I would live with out him or how I would go on. My heart aches for two women right now that have just had to find out what this experience is like. Although this world is not the best place for us, as a heavenly reward awaits, my selfish-human nature is to cling to my spouse, my love, with all the strength I have. I want to keep him here as long as possible. I don't want a minute to go by that he doesn't know how much I love him.

Secondly, I've been reminded that family is absolutely key to getting through tragic loss. This week, I've been on the supporting end when it comes to dealing with death. It's hard to know how to support those who are grieving. What do you say? How do you help them? Do you serve as a distraction so they don't have to hone in on their loss? Or do you continually remind them how amazing their loved one was and how they're in a better place? Is that the right thing to say? Maybe you say nothing at all and stay close by to catch the falls and the tears.

Grief is but a chapter that must be read in the book of life. Sometimes it pops up several times throughout the novel. Other times, it just appears at the end. My prayer is that I won't be seeing another chapter like this one for a long time.