Ahhhhhh.....

Pass me some expensive cheese and a fine bottle of wine! I just finished up my last test of graduate school and I'm ready to celebrate!

It seems surreal that in just five short weeks I'm going to have a real master's degree in my hot little hands. Reflecting on this with my friend Ali, I realized how big of an accomplishment this is for me. Ali exclaimed, "Wow! You did this, and were also able to be a full time mommy and wife!" You know what? She's right! I DID! I stuck with it. And it was hard. But it was worth it. I've found a career that I absolutely love. It's extremely rewarding and allows me to incorporate God's truth into helping people heal from their hurts.

So now, before I begin "working" for real (aka getting PAID to counsel), I'm going to enjoy this reprieve and bask in the greatness of God blessing me with this moment.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H

Easter is this weekend. I'm so excited about it! Our church is putting on an original production for Easter called Emmaus. (click on the link to check it out!)

As the weekend is approaching, God is placing something on my heart that I've never experienced before. And it makes me feel WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE. Actually, it's been on my heart for about 3 weeks now, but I've been ignoring it, thinking God will stop pestering me about it if I continue to ignore Him. But it looks as though that's not how He works. You see, I have this burden on my heart to invite our neighbors to church. Now, I know that probably doesn't seem like a big deal. But it is to me. I wouldn't exactly describe myself as evangelical. And, we aren't exactly "neighborly" with our neighbors. Not that there's any bad blood or hard feelings. But, we (meaning Michael and I, as well as the neighbors) haven't really ventured across our little plot of land and just visited. So the idea of showing up on their doorstep, ringing the bell, and saying, "Hey, I know we've never really talked or hung out, but do you want to visit our church this weekend?" is an incredibly daunting thought. It seems almost insane.

Michael and I talked about it in depth last night. Why are we so afraid to ask them to church? We know our church is awesome and very welcoming. And, we're pretty sure they don't know Jesus, which means they've got reserved seats on the 245 to Hellsville. Shouldn't that prompt us to act? Why is reaching out to people near you so difficult? I'll tell you why. Fear of rejection. What if we do ask them and they say no? Then we might be the "weird, Christian neighbors...." But then I remind myself that Christ says to follow Him means to take up our cross and to leave the worldly behind. Am I ashamed of Him? No. Do I believe that He can save us from a life destined for hell? Yes. Do I believe that He is the Savior of the world? Yes. Do I believe that if our neighbors don't hear about what He did for them and accept Him, they will continue down the path to hell? Yes. So what's stopping me?

Fear.

I know that to step out of my little house of comfort and cross the street, cookies and an invitation in hand, could possible change their lives. Why does God stretching me have to feel so uncomfortable?

(Sigh)

So, if you read this before Easter, please pray for me, Michael and our neighbors. Pray for courage, pray for openness, and pray for God to do a work in us. They may reject our idea, and yes, we may end up being labeled as "weird." But then again, they may accept our invitation and come to know Jesus the way we do. As a Savior.

Face Lift

My blog just had much needed update, thanks to my sweet husband. Comments from the peanut gallery?

Gratitude

Two of our dearest friends, Chris and Ali, recently had a four year long prayer answered. This past Friday, they got to bring home their new baby girl, Olivia Nicole. This moment was joyous for a variety of reasons, but for me, the biggest joy was finally getting to see one of my best friends finally get to be a mom.

I know that I take it for granted that I'm a mother some days. Those days when Gabriel tests my limits and my patience is not present. But on Sunday, when we met Ms. Olivia, I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God. Not only did God bless this family with the adoption of sweet Olivia, but God blessed Olivia with a wonderful set of parents. It reminded me that God chose Michael and I to be Gabriel's parents; what an awesome privilege! I'm so excited for my friends to be able to experience all the wonderful firsts of parenthood. I'm excited for this little girl to have the opportunity to grow up with parents that love God with all their hearts. And most of all, I'm excited that she has parents that will introduce her to God's beautiful and precious gift of salvation.

Congratulations Chris and Ali! She's beautiful!

Pause, Jane.

I want to tell you about a woman I know; let's call her Jane. Jane's had a tough day. Her son woke up at 6:00am and has only taken an hour nap today. Which means that laundry is the only thing she's really gotten started today. Although the day has flown by with sweet play time with her son, the evening is approaching along with the witching hour. Jane realizes that only one thing on her list of 10 thing she needed to get done today has been completed. As Jane sighs from exhaustion, she remembers that her hard working husband (we'll call him Bob), will be arriving soon from a long day of work.

Jane begins searching through the pantry, thinking about what she can make for dinner that will be fast and easy while the toddler is attached to her leg, screaming for more milk. While trying to pick out the quick meal and attempting to the toddler's grip on her leg, Jane remember that she had an assignment due to her professor the night before. You see, Jane isn't just a wife and a mother, she's a graduate student. And Jane completely forgot about that stupid assignment. So Jane sticks her kid in front of the TV, tries to whip up some Hamburger Helper and while it's simmering on the stove, she attempts to do her assignment that was due yesterday. But only 3 minutes into her attempt to further her education, Jane's son feels the need to bother her. He begins demanding to be picked up so he can watch Murray on Sesame Street on her computer. While trying to pull up to windows on the computer (one for her son and the other for her assignment), Jane remembers that she has another assignment due by Sunday. But, she has already committed to a couple meetings at church and a lunch date with a friend on Sunday. While these thoughts are going through her head, she realizes her child is glued to the show she's pulled up on the computer, not moving a muscle; completely captivated by the animated pictures and crazy music.

Jane begins to feel horrible, remembering that "the TV should not be a babysitter." Then in the midst of her tears welling up due to feeling like a failure, her sister-in-law calls. Jane answers the phone, leaving her toddler planted at the computer. After diving into what a terrible mom she's become, Jane takes a breath and is about to tell her sister-in-law she should throw in the towel. But before she can say one more word, her beloved sister-in-law says, "STOP."

"What? Why?"

"You need to give yourself a break."

"A break? But how? I'm behind in school, my kid is becoming a television zombie, and---"

"YOU NEED TO GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!"

Then after giving Jane a slew of reasons why she's a great mother, wife and student, Jane lets out a sigh of relief. Jane's dear old sister-in-law is right. Jane is doing the best she can with what God's given her. Her toddler is not going to "get dumb" by watching a few shows. Jane is not going to suck as a student just because she missed one assignment. Bob is not going to leave her just because they've had Hamburger Helper 2 times this past week. She's doing the best she can. And the people around her know that.

So breath, Jane. Breath in and out, in and out. It's going to be okay. May is only a few months away....

2010, the Latest Frontier

2010. It's here. No stopping it. Only 2 more years until the world ends, according to the sun worshiping folk from 100's of years ago. I think someone must have put something in the Kool-Aid, because according to my calculations (and my calculations are based on fact; aka the Word of God), I don't think we're going to "know" when the world will end and when Jesus is making his second appearance. So, I'm not worrying about it.

But thinking about the passing of years and how many I may have left (I'm only one year from 30 as of yesterday, you know...) I've recently been contemplating what this year is going to hold for me. From the looks of it, it could be quiet exciting. Here's just a few things that may (or may not) get accomplished this year.

1. I graduate with my master's degree in May. PRAISE JESUS! After three long years (longer if you include my first attempt back in 2003...), I'm finally going to finish what I started with a Master of Arts in Counseling. It's been an uphill battle, but well worth it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's standing there waiting for me, holding a big margarita to celebrate.

2. Taking my NCE (National Counselors Exam) soon after graduation to attain my temporary license so I can officially start working at an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor)!

3. Finishing up the MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) requirements of my program by August and taking the required exam for that so I can obtain my LMFT (can you guess what that stands for?).

4. Leading a group of mommies in our 2010 Spring MOPS group. I'm so excited to minister to these gals and to be a part of such a wonderful program. Building relationships with new and veteran mommies is such a soft spot on my heart and I can't wait to see what unfolds. Plus, hello, free breakfast every two weeks???

5. Maybe, just maybe make us a family of four....we'll see if God has that in the cards.

6. Continue to watch Gabriel grow up and celebrate his SECOND birthday in May. I can't believe he's almost two. Tomorrow he'll be 20 months. That's only 4 months away from 2! He's at such a fun stage right now and I know it's fleeting, but we're enjoying it while it's here. I love that he will sit in his room for 15-20 minutes at times, just reading to himself in his own language. It melts my heart to hear that gibberish that has such meaning to him.

7. Celebrate 6 wonderful years with the love of my life...I wonder where we'll go to celebrate this year?

8. Getting involved in our church and growing as a leader.

9. Growing closer to the Lord. I've been pretty bad about putting my relationship with Him on the back burner for several months and I think it's time that my position of apathy changes. He is the only reason I am blessed to celebrate, experience and grow from the above 8 things. This year, I want to make Him the priority instead of the things in life that really don't matter.

10. Come up with more acronyms.

Just a few things that 2010 has in store for me. Here's to a new, prosperous year!

Stopthewhining.com

A snapshot of my morning for the past 21 days.

Me: Do you want milk?
Gabriel: Waaaaahhh!

Me: Do you want some cereal?
Gabriel: Uuuuuhhhhh!

Me: Let's play with your blocks.
Gabriel: No!

Me: Let's read a book.
Gabriel: Mmmmaaaamamamamama!

The whine.

I hate whining. I know I'm not alone. In fact, most people probably find this part of childhood particularly annoying. But for me, it's on a whole different level. Constant whining is my idea of life in hell.

Dictionary.com defines "whine" as:

1. to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.

2.	to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way

Peevish, self-pitying. Yep. That would describe what I've been hearing on a constant basis for the last 3 weeks. The sound of that "uuuuuhhhhhhh......" all day long in that distinct pitch of voice makes me want to set myself on fire.

Right now I'm working on a cure for whining. So far I'm 0 for 458. Is there hope? Is there relief from this stage? If your answer is "when they're 18 and out of your house," you are not helpful. Try again.